Blind Apology

The event that I will be blogging about had a particular higher impact on me than others, because of injustice and prejudice of that day.

As some of you might have seen on my last post, I was at Mr. Barnett's mercantile, and I sho' did cause a lot of trouble there, already. When leaving the place, I was already feeling upset and didn't want my day to get any worse than it already was, but what was I thinkin'? It obviously had to get worse!
As I was thinking about the discussion at the mercantile, I accidentally bumped into that Lilian Jean, daughter of Mr. Simms. The girl wasn't alone, she was with Jeremy and her two younger brothers, however it didn't seem like they were looking for any trouble. Lilian Jean demanded an apology and as I wasn't lookin' for any trouble, I apologized. But when I started past her, the girl sidestepped me, because apparently only "sorry" wasn't enough for her. She wanted me to get down and walk on the road. That gal crazy or somethin'?
She told me "You can't watch where you going, get in the road. Maybe that way you won't be bumping into decent white folks with your little nasty self." It's awkward how I remember the words, and how she said it, maybe it just archived in this little head of mine as a second low insult of the day. I was already feeling bad but honestly, I didn't want to feel even worse! There were other things in my head and the girl just shows up thinkin' she's the boss of me jus' cuz' she's white..
I answered her by telling her that if she was so afraid to be bumped on, she should walk on the road herself, and with that the girl tries pushing me off the sidewalk and into the road, while I tried maintaining on the road.
Just as I swept my arm backwards, in the hope that Lilian Jean won't be able to reach it, another hand grabs my arm from behind and twists it firmly, until I end up falling bottom first on the ground. It was Mr. Simms, her father, telling me to apologize to that gal of his, "Miz Lilian Jean".
As soon as I got up again, another arm took hold of me, but just as I tried fighting against it, I hear Big Ma's voice saying that we were going home. Before I could say anything, Mr. Simms says that I'm not leaving without apologizing to that daughter of his. I thought Big Ma was gonna do somethin' 'bout it but instead, she didn't hesitate. She actually told me to say it. I said I was sorry but again, only that wasn't enough for the Simmses.
"I'm sorry 'Miz' Lilian Jean" was my line. I couldn't say it but Big Ma made me. A tear rolled down my face as I said the words, but it wasn't a tear of sadness and yes, a tear of hatred and injustice. It was one of the toughest moments of my life.
Later on, Stacey told me not to blame Big Ma for what she did. I understood then that it was better for me to have apologized than to have cause even worse consequences to me and to my family. She did it for my best, as usual.

 That's Lillian Jean Simms.. The white girl who made everything feel worst than it already was.

Source:"Other Important Characters." - Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Feb. 2016. 

Trouble at Strawberry

For years now, my brothers and I have been begging Big Ma to take us down to Strawberry, until the day Big Ma decides to take Stacey and I. At first, I thought it would be one of the biggest adventures, and it was, however not in a good way.
At first, we woke up before Little Man and Christopher-John, so they didn't see us. We rode on Jack, our mule, down to Strawberry, and as we parked our wagon, Big Ma started heading towards the back of the field. I thought that was very strange because there was plenty of space up at the front, near the entrance, but Big Ma explained those places were only for white people. I hate when she says that. Them white people ain't got nothin'! By the time someone gets to where we were heading, they'll have bunions on their soles and corns on their toes.

Later that day, while Big Ma was at Mr. Jamison, Stacey, T.J. and I went to the mercantile, thinking that we were doing a favor to Big Ma by getting the merchandise started, but we were actually there for T.J. After we arrived, Stacey and I went up to the counter, where Mr. Barnett was and we asked him for help. We handed him a list of things that Mama wanted, but instead of helping us, he skipped to the next customer, which was "Miz Emmaline". She handed him a list twice as long, and Mr. Barnett was off to help her. We waited for a very long time, until he had finally finished helping the lady. Just as we thought he was 'bout to help us, a girl, about my age, asked for his help and he started helping her! That was it for me. At first, I thought that he was helping the lady because she was older but now the little girl! I decided to say something. As politely as I could, I told Mr. Barnett that he was helping us, earlier but he just ignored me. I tugged on his shirt, thinking he didn't hear me and I repeated "You was helping us,". He told me to get my "little black self and go wait some more". I'd had enough of that, and I began losing my patience. I did not like his tone. Some people were telling me to be quiet, but I thought he had no right to treat me or my Stacey or T.J. the way he did. I ended up being thrown out of the store, and only come back when we learnt what we are.
I couldn't be mad at Stacey for not defending me back at the store, or for pushing me out. It must have been for good. Who knows what they'd do to us if I kept talking? I'm thankful we got out of there on time, I couldn't bare stare at that man's face no longer.

This is the Barnett Mercantile 

Source: "Vintage General Store - Yahoo Image Search Results." Pinterest. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Feb. 2016.