As some of you might have seen on my last post, I was at Mr. Barnett's mercantile, and I sho' did cause a lot of trouble there, already. When leaving the place, I was already feeling upset and didn't want my day to get any worse than it already was, but what was I thinkin'? It obviously had to get worse!
As I was thinking about the discussion at the mercantile, I accidentally bumped into that Lilian Jean, daughter of Mr. Simms. The girl wasn't alone, she was with Jeremy and her two younger brothers, however it didn't seem like they were looking for any trouble. Lilian Jean demanded an apology and as I wasn't lookin' for any trouble, I apologized. But when I started past her, the girl sidestepped me, because apparently only "sorry" wasn't enough for her. She wanted me to get down and walk on the road. That gal crazy or somethin'?
She told me "You can't watch where you going, get in the road. Maybe that way you won't be bumping into decent white folks with your little nasty self." It's awkward how I remember the words, and how she said it, maybe it just archived in this little head of mine as a second low insult of the day. I was already feeling bad but honestly, I didn't want to feel even worse! There were other things in my head and the girl just shows up thinkin' she's the boss of me jus' cuz' she's white..
I answered her by telling her that if she was so afraid to be bumped on, she should walk on the road herself, and with that the girl tries pushing me off the sidewalk and into the road, while I tried maintaining on the road.
Just as I swept my arm backwards, in the hope that Lilian Jean won't be able to reach it, another hand grabs my arm from behind and twists it firmly, until I end up falling bottom first on the ground. It was Mr. Simms, her father, telling me to apologize to that gal of his, "Miz Lilian Jean".
As soon as I got up again, another arm took hold of me, but just as I tried fighting against it, I hear Big Ma's voice saying that we were going home. Before I could say anything, Mr. Simms says that I'm not leaving without apologizing to that daughter of his. I thought Big Ma was gonna do somethin' 'bout it but instead, she didn't hesitate. She actually told me to say it. I said I was sorry but again, only that wasn't enough for the Simmses.
"I'm sorry 'Miz' Lilian Jean" was my line. I couldn't say it but Big Ma made me. A tear rolled down my face as I said the words, but it wasn't a tear of sadness and yes, a tear of hatred and injustice. It was one of the toughest moments of my life.
Later on, Stacey told me not to blame Big Ma for what she did. I understood then that it was better for me to have apologized than to have cause even worse consequences to me and to my family. She did it for my best, as usual.
That's Lillian Jean Simms.. The white girl who made everything feel worst than it already was.Source:"Other Important Characters." - Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Feb. 2016.
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